The Horrors of a Preteen Mind
by Nezumii
Summary: Sasuke rants, Itachi and Kisame fall out of a tree, Sakura's a dude... Rated T for stupid and underage gambling. Many couples, none straight. Oneshot.


This is another random fic I came up with. This time, I was fishing in Fable: The Lost Chapters for the pc. It rocks. Play it. Also, Sakura was transformed into a male during the whole Zabuza shtick. Muhahaha! And, this is just after the Chuunin exams. Sasuke never left. ( If he did leave. )

**April 16, 09 - Greetings from 12:47 AM on a friday morning. I'm going through and editing my stories making them more bearable. :] I think it may be working.**

On with the fic. I hope you like it.

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Team 7 walked to their small training ground with a ranting Sasuke walking behind them. Everyone except Chicken-Hair is in good spirits.

Little did they know, Itachi and Kisame were watching them from above in the trees.

"I mean, I don't give a damn about my clan. All I ever heard from those insensitive, child labor loving bastards is "You're not strong enough, Sasuke." "I'm embarrassed to call you my son." or "Why can't you be as strong as your nii-san, Sasuke-chan?" I even heard, "You're nothing more then a pathetic little brat." Assholes!"

Itachi tilted his head to the side, and Kisame muttered, "Cute kid."

Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto were standing next to one another watching Sasuke throw shuriken at an innocent tree with amused smiles playing across their features. Sakura sighed, "I really do love this squad." Naruto giggled and nodded in agreement.

He threw shuriken between each word. "I. Hate. Those. Bastards!" At the last word, his shuriken missed the mark nearly impaling a poor nut collecting squirrel scaring it half to death and almost making it fall off the branch. "Oops..." he muttered, backing away slowly.

The squirrel regained its balance and clicked angrily at Sasuke. It then began throwing nuts at him. "Ack! I'm sorry! Don't Kill Me!!!" screamed Sasuke, trying to run away but getting knocked to the ground by a well-placed nut.

Kisame was trying to hold back his laughter but failed miserably also loosing his balance. He tried to grab onto random branches for support, but only managed to get Itachi knocked out of the tree as well. They both landed with a painful thud.

Everyone besides Sasuke were to busy laughing their asses off to notice.

"Hm. Bird-brain strikes again." A figure landed in between Sasuke and his team. "Orochan!" Sakura lept into Orochimaru' arms. Everyone stared at them. "I thought you were in Oto!" squealed Sakura.

"I was, but they were so up-tight I just had to get out of there. Of course... I mostly came here to see you, my cherry blossom." He cupped Sakura' chin in his hands and tilted his face up to gaze into his eyes.

Sasuke began looking back and forth from the 'happy couple' to Itachi and Kisame who regained their composure. "What the hell is going on...?"

Sakura and Orochimaru separated from their embrace to have Jiraiya land inbetween them. "Orochan!" "Jir-Jir!" They glomped one another.

Naruto and Kakashi were standing a few feet away, speechless until Iruka poofed into existence next to them. Another happy, glomping family.

Sakura and Kisame felt left out so they glomped one another. Sakura's eyes snapped open from a sudden thought. "Oh No! Naruto! We're only twelve!"

"NOOOoooo!" Yelled Naruto, devastated.

Kisame put down Sakura and gazed up into the air and shook a fist. "Dont Worry! Age Never Matters In The Game Of Love!" Everyone cheered. Everyone, but the two speechless Uchihas.

Sakura pointed a finger at Sasuke, "Poor Uchi-kun is all alone."

Sasuke held a forearm to his eyes and started to anime cry as did the evil squirrel on his shoulder.

Kisame pointed towards the village, dramatically. "To The Hotel!" Everyone cheered, and away they ran. The squirrel leapt from Sasukes shoulder and ran with them.

"That was... Like some stupid humor fan fiction Nezumii would write..." stammered Itachi, shuddering.

"Agreed." said Sasuke who looked the same way as his nii-san.

They looked at one another and shrugged. "Why not?" they asked in unison. They sped after the others to the hotel.

"This is awesome!" yelled Sakura, throwing a fist in the air.

"Only because you cheated!" yelled Tsunade... wait... Tsunade? Is she even supposed to be here, yet?

"Pure skill, baby." he gloated, winking at Tsunade which made her blush.

"Damn underage Casino crasher."

Sakura blinked, looking around. "Where did the others go?"

Tsunade looked all around her but saw no one but bums and the bartender. "Maybe Sasuke's demon squirrel summoned his friends to kill them after Kisame stepped on its tail..."

Outside, Kakashi, Iruka, Kisame, Sasuke, Orochimaru, Naruto and Itachi were running from a massive squirrel army.

**THE END!**

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That was maybe a little overly stupid, but I write up whatever idea forces me to. My bad. :D Review and favorite plx!


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